I was adventurous last night. I’ve been stuck in a rut of only going to 1-2 meetings a week lately and mainly I just stick to the Clubhouse or Maiden Voyage. It’s not great for me to go to that few meetings. I may have 3.8 years sober but I’ll never be cured. Going to a meeting is like taking medicine for my disease…you can’t just take it whenever you feel like it and expect to feel good all the time. It’s optimal to go daily, but when that is too much, go more days than you don’t go. ASL and I agreed that I should be going to 4 meetings a week. That seems like a lot to me, but I went to a meeting every day during my first year. Why should this year be any different?
So yesterday I decided I would go to a new meeting and found one on the Upper West Side that was only 2 stops away from my apartment on the subway and started at 8:15pm! Perfect. I would have enough time to get there after physical therapy and enough time to study before bed. To my surprise, it was a small meeting -maybe 10 people max? I like the intimate meetings – not many distractions. In addition, it was a Living Sober meeting which is when everyone takes turn reading paragraphs in one of the chapters in the book: Living Sober. Last night’s topic was the Seventh Step “We humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.” I’ve never read Living Sober, so it felt refreshing to hear something new.
I felt like a newcomer. I didn’t know anyone in the room and I’d never heard the literature before, but I felt totally comfortable being there. I even shared. I have never gotten close to the seventh step, even in NA. But I do know what it’s like to feel humbled. It was also nice to go to a meeting where I didn’t know anyone. Because then I get to sit peacefully and focus on my recovery rather than wondering what my friends are thinking or if we’re going to get coffee after the meeting or what movie we’re going to this weekend. I haven’t been “alone” with my recovery in a meeting in a long time. I didn’t know anything about the people who shared until they shared. I didn’t have any sort of outside information about what is going on in their lives like I do with my friends. It was nice, my brain got to rest.
Going to a meeting outside of a service position or social agenda is exactly what I needed. It’s always nice to go to meetings where I know everyone, but it becomes repetitive and I hear the same people share about the same things week in and week out. New meetings present me with new people, new ideas, new lives. I am glad that I went. And then I went home, called my sponsor, talked to my brother on the phone, watched 16 & Pregnant and went to bed. I feel good this morning. My headache from yesterday is gone. Sometimes we all just need something different.
What makes you feel rejuvenated?